The Front Porch Test

     Imagine yourself sitting on the front porch of your dream home.  Every single one of your friends are there.  You are having a cookout with all of your favorite foods.  Everyone is having a great time.  Your best friend in the whole wide world is sitting across from you.  I am not talking about your best bud from highschool who you grew up tormenting the neighborhood with.  I am talking about the person you are meant to be with for the rest of your life.

     She's beautiful.  Everything you had ever dreamed.  Tight, slender body with the perfect attitude.  She gets along with all of your friends and she is well rounded in every aspect of life you care about.  But then she laughs, and it just so happens to be the most annoying thing you ever heard.  The skin on your neck begins to crawl and all of the hair on your body is standing on end as your cringing in your seat.  The laughter stops, and you admire her as she is sitting across from you getting along with your friends.  Your children come outside and join you on the front porch.  They have her laugh.  But you just smile and wave as life passes you by. 

     Back to reality. 

     Did she pass? 

     Do you understand?

     Let me explain...

     The front porch test is a simple test explained to me by a friend while I was in the pararescue pipeline.  It is where you imagine yourself sitting on a front porch with all of your friends and important family members having a grand ol' time.  Cue the love interest.  She can be a girl you are currently seeing, maybe thinking about proposing to.  You insert her onto the front porch with you.  Be real, be honest.  Throw in everything you love, like, dislike, and hate about this love interest.  Now imagine you are spending an eternity on this porch with her.  Can you do it?  If you can, then she passes and you should marry her immediately.  If there is no way in hell you can stand the thought of this, then she fails and there is probably someone out there that may be a better fit for you.  Better yet, you are tying her down and she deserves better. 

     Be careful with this test though.  If you are a keyboard warrior sitting at home with no love interest currently in your life then you are at a significant risk of developing unrealistic expectations.  It is not advised that you attempt the this test without a real live person as your love interest.  If you do, well, you will never find the person you are dreaming of because you set your bar way too high.

     It is simple, and it is effective.  Like I said, this was mentioned to me while I was a student in one of the most difficult courses of my life.  I am glad it was, because she passed.  Seven years later and she is still sitting with me on that front porch.